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My long silence can be attributed to the fact that I have been busy travelling. Between Nagpur and Mumbai. And boy, have I got some stories to tell.

My recent trips have exposed me to a very special domestic flight. And not just any flight, an Indian Airline flight. Which is now known as Air India or Indian or Indian Airlines, I doubt even the pilot knows what airlines it is, so I’ll just refer to it by its call sign IC629.

I had been warned by my friends that Indian Airlines has some old stewardess. My past experience with the airline was a while back. And with the amount of air travel I do, I tend to forget the quality of the air hostessess that aren’t exceptionally amazing unlike Gulf Air (London - Abu Dhabi), Virgin Atlantic (London - Kuala Lumpur), Sri Lankan (Mumbai - Colombo), Singapore Airlines (Singapore - New Delhi) just to name a few of the most ‘beautiful’ flying sectors in the world.

Anyway… I was looking forward to my flight. Mumbai domestic terminal is looking quite nice and the check-in girl, 20-ish, at the counter was quite pretty. She saw the picture on my PAN card and said ‘Nice picture’. I said ‘Oh, I had just woken up’. She smilingly asks me where I’d like to sit. I said, ‘Just not near the wings, I like to see the sunset colours’. Not expecting this kind of a reply, she was quite impressed, and giggled a bit. (Proof that my silly cheesy non-intended chat up lines do work)

Being exceptionally excited about seeing aircrafts (see part 2 of NINE), I end up at airports at least 2 hours early. This time, with my check in done, flirting done and nescafe coffee drunk. I had nothing else to do but wait. Being stuck in a waiting room without windows (meaning: no airplanes) and no eye candy (no girls), I decided it is best that I take a little nap. I put a vibrating alarm on my mobile and put a paper over my head.

I woke up and quickly checked the time. My alarm didn’t go off. Still 20 minutes to go, phew. I quickly find my gate and board IC 629. Inside the air hostess is gorgeous and guides me to my seat and doesn’t comment on noticing that my jaw has almost dropped to the floor. I’m thinking she’s probably a daughter of the air hostess. Scoping the aircraft for more of the so-called motherly figures did not yield any results. In fact, all the air hostesses were under 26, tops. I’m thinking, obviously they are all the daughters of the actual stewardesses. Nobody is this lucky…

Turns out, I was. The girls in this plane make the famed Kingfisher girls look a lot like Bombay Duck. I quickly find out that Tina Malhotra, the long black haired looks like Deepika Padukone air hostesses, is serving my part of the plane. More importantly, she will be serving me. *insert perverted evil laugh here*.

A little more investigation reveals to me that the girl in the flowing saree is named Chandni Chopra, the late bloomer is Anjali Sharma, the curvy far end girl is Pooja, the safety routine girl for rows 19-27 with the smile to die for is Simran Singh and the most beautiful one with killer eyes is Parvati who I lovingly call Paro. Maybe there is some justice in this world because Paro is serving the sleazy fat drunken politician in business class. IC 629 is turning out to be the best trip ever.

I am absolutely certain that somewhere between the gate and getting onboard the plane, the bus took me into a parallel universe. Where airline food is great and the air hostesses(only of Indian Airline mind you) are super sexy. What dimension is this and how come this isn’t my preferred universe? Now I’m only saying that for the airline food. Honest!

Tina was the most loving air hostesses in the world (no exaggeration). She offered me a glass of wine with come cheese. I had a lovely conversation with her about the wine, I’m sure that’s impressed her to heaven’s gate because she kept looking at me even when serving the others. Chandni caught Tina’s glances at me and came over to ‘check out the goods’, I say to her “Chandni, that saree makes you look as brilliant as the new moon”. And that’s when Chandni fell in love with me.

For the rest of the flight, I was well looked after by my two angels. Offered the best food. Constantly being topped up with alcohol. Promoted to business class(furthest seat from aforementioned sleazy bag). Even asked if I’d like to come and visit the galley. Which I did and got a chance to speak to Paro. Who, turns out, recently got married. So no go.

A short flight has its drawbacks, we started our descent and Tina came around to check if I had my seat belt on. I didn’t. Of course. She ‘helped’ me with that and quietly slipped a tissue with her phone number in my pocket. Chandni came around a bit later and asked me if I was happy with the service provided. I said ‘Indeed’. She gives me a naughty smile and leans over and seductively whispers, “Me & the other girls are out to party tonight, why don’t you come along, I’m feeling very naughty, we’ll meet you at ….

And that is when my alarm went off…

I thought it was a bit weird for all the girls to be named after the leading actresses of SRK’s big movies.