• Homer : Oh whats that delicious smell?
• Replacement Marge : I'm burning all your underwear.
• Homer : Ohhh....

Petrol

• Friend : Geez man
• Me : Hey. Wassup?
• Friend : Just got back from the petrol pump.
• Me : And?
• Friend : It cost me £1.07 for a liter. ($8.16/gallon)
• Me : Hehehe... It cost me Rs.48 a liter. ($4/gallon)
• Friend : %$£#!

Stare

• Sav: Do you mind if I stare at you up close rather than across the room?
• Girl: *Slaps Sav*

Murg Rozali Kebabs

• Me: Recommend me a starter!
• Head Waiter: Sir, the Murg Rozali Kebabs are very nice, not too spicy. Not too mild. With a hint of mint and garlic. With mutton stuffing inside.
• Me: Excellent! Give me 2.

It's Always sunny in Philadelphia Season 2 Episode 8

• Frank: A woman in politics is like a donkey doing calculus.
• Dee: Come on, there are plenty of amazing women politicians.
• Frank: Name one.
• Dee: Ummm... Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton
• Frank: Awful.
• Dee: How is she awful?
• Frank: Hates Freedom.

• KJ : Why are you looking at that girl?
• VJ : She's hot dude! I've been noticing her for the last couple of mins.
• KJ : Ah jeez, no more beer for you mate. What is the matter with you? Can't you see the hair on her forearms. And the tach. She's got more than you do...